Friday 31 January 2020

Goodbye - 31/01/20

Today is a day I've been dreading.
Today we leave the European Union and cease to have membership rights.
The clock begins to count down to the 1st January 2021 when we will aim to have 27 trade deals in place at the minimum.
I say we, as far as I am aware I will not be called upon to help with the trade negotiations - the government and civil service are adding that to their to do lists.

Today is a significant moment in my political life time.
This is the biggest loss and believe me I have experienced loss after loss politically.

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2015 - General Election saw the Liberal Democrats go from 56 to 8 MPs.
2015 - I joined the Liberal Democrats and became active in the local party.
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2015 - I went to the Christians in Politics Show Up weekend and the direction of my life was altered dramatically.
2016 - I campaigned in the local elections, voted for the first time and attended my first count.
2016 - Went to my first Liberal Democrat Conference and spoke on all women shortlists. Also got asked if I wanted to run to be an MEP to diversify the party list. At the time I was overwhelmed and turned it down, now regret this decision, I had no idea then that this wouldn't be a opportunity I would ever get again.
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2016 - I campaigned throughout my A Level revision/exam period to stay IN the European Union, this was heavily cross party and meant spending a lot of time with local conservative activists.
2016 - Attended my first political rally, got bitten delivering leaflets, spat at and sworn at by strangers. Voted and continued to campaign all day in the sunshine and the rain. Went to my second election count. I managed to hold it together when the result came in but broke down when I got home. Vividly remember the drive from the election count back home in the early hours of the morning, was in shock and so aware that the majority of people were still asleep and didn't yet know. I woke my Dad up and told him the result before collapsing into bed around 6am. Spent the next few days in a blurry state of mind which has yet to fully lift.
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2016 - When Trump got elected President of the United States I stayed up all night to watch the results coming in, I was also in shock then, but unable to cry. I became numb instead and my political anxiety grew as the speeches continued and the new legislation was passed.
2017 - I flew to Cape Town to start my work in the Human Rights Law Firm, organised a proxy vote for both the mayoral election and then again for the snap general election. Was on safari when the results were coming in. Landed back in the UK and was pleased to see the conservative majority cease to be, but disappointed that the gains to the Liberal Democrats were so small.
2017 - Took my Dad to national conference and saw him make a main stage conference speech. Met Wera Hobbhouse and got excited about moving to a Lib Dem seat to start studying at the University of Bath.Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling
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2018 - Got elected Women's Officer for Bath University Liberal Democrats. Attended another national conference with Connor and Orla, gave a main stage conference speech. This is the highlight of my time in politics so far, it is my proudest life achievement for all it represents and for the reaction I got to it. If you didn't get a chance to watch my speech back then here is the transcript:

I am proud to be a member of this party for many reasons, especially when it comes to the platform we give mental health. This motion is specifically about self harm, and I believe the stigma surrounding this still has a long way to go. As someone who has now been mentally ill longer than I have well, I have years of experience in seeing self harm and depression being dealt with compassion and at times with ignorance. My first port of call at 11 was the school counsellor, whom I can’t speak highly enough, I believe as a matter of urgency we must demand trained mental health professionals in all secondary schools. For it was they who referred me to the GP, who referred me to CAMHS, who referred me to a professional, this conference is where so many people are let down. Waiting lists for mental health appointments make me furious, I have been on many - may we recognise the damage they do and the dignity they destroy we must keep standing up for those who can’t afford to turn to private counselling when the public sector is unable to meet demand. Furthermore once support is found then it shouldn’t be removed when someone turns 18, long term mental illnesses doesn’t go away, it doesn’t recognise age restrictions. I know this to be true for me. After 8 years of being in and out of therapy with many different diagnoses thrown my way it was DBT therapy that has changed my life. DBT is recommended for people from 17/18 onward. I undertook the course at 19, and was fortunate to have this provided locally for free, but I fear my case is in the minority. I wouldn’t wish the waiting, the difficult conversations with exhausted therapists and the confusion that I experienced on anyone. Every young person mentioned in these statistics will hopefully become young adults and they deserve just as much support when they do. Let me end by finishing with this, self harm is complex, for me it was a coping mechanism to stay in control and ground myself when it felt like my life was spiralling - self harm whilst unhealthy is not in my experience a death wish and I long for conversations about it to be treated with less fear and trepidation. For fear encourages shame which encourages fear. As Liberal Democrat’s may we been known for listening to and supporting those with mental illness no matter what age. One day, with the support of my faith, family and friends I aspire to stand for MP, and I hope my scars and my history speak of my determination and strength and not seen as inadequacies, may my empathy be valued so I can continue to stand up for the marginalised and oppressed.
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2018 - Got involved with FFS and the People's Vote campaign. Attended the demonstration in London.
2019 - Stood as a paper candidate in Chew Valley got 486 votes. Had a huge celebration as we won back the council in big numbers, was a joy to attend this election count.
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2019 - Campaigned in the general election, this time behind the scenes by doing election admin and helping write articles for HQ. Was invited to attend the BANES election count but sadly had to turn it down due to illness. Stayed up on my 22nd birthday to see a catastrophic defeat play out in front of me.
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2020 - I am writing this knowing that in a matter of hours I will no longer be a European citizen.

There are plenty of key moments that I haven't included in this list, wonderful people I have met and life changing conversations I've had - but these are the ones that came to mind as I was writing. I am disappointed, angry, weighed down and hurt by the loss. Again and again I have had my values thrown out, relegated and diminished to idealistic dreams. But I have not written this blog post to evoke pity or sadness but rather to mark this moment in history.

Additionally to write a series of pledges to hold future Amy to:

I hereby pledge to never turn away from a campaign I believe in no matter how unlikely the odds of tangible success.

I hereby pledge to listen and learn from those I disagree with. To continue to treat everyone I encounter with dignity and respect no matter how they treat me, my opinions and my actions.

I hereby pledge to campaign with humility and awareness that I do not know all the answers, that I haven't lived all of the life experiences and am not in a position to tell others how to think.

I hereby pledge to hold on to the bigger picture, to believe the arc of humanity bends towards justice and that I worship a God who will never be limited by current affairs.

I hereby pledge to choose hope irrespective of circumstance. 

Today is a day of mourning. But tomorrow is a day to prioritise afresh holding the government to account on all they have promised, pledged and declared. Who is with me?

Order from Chaos, Christians in Politics Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU4s4-EWZwk

Prayer Requests:

- For the country as the next 24 hours pass and for the next 11 months as we work out what leaving actually means.
- For all politicians on a local, regional, national and international level for peace and wisdom.
- For social justice to be prioritised in all negotiations, may there be unexpected victories for those who are shunned, oppressed and forgotten under the status quo.
- For MEPs who now face personal uncertainty as they leave their jobs in Brussels.

Thank you for reading my thirty first blog post - isn't that a satisfying coincidence! Have a hope filled week.