Me being a control freak and ranting about politics - what's new?!

This last week I have spent a lot of time catching up with people from home, this is a lovely but always a slightly odd thing to do. It is amazing to share my stories, the ups and downs and hear about how people I love to bits are doing, but it is also an uncomfortable reminder of how far away my normal is from theirs.
It is easy to forget that a couple of months ago my life was very different and right now - I am working in an alien environment that is generally recognised as very challenging. I think it is common to be unaware of the weight of what we are dealing with until someone points out to us that we are in a crazy situation. 

Right now I know I am seeing my reality with eyes partly closed.

Just wish I was doing this over hot chocolate and cake rather than through head phones!

Sharing my frustrations with others I see them hit their head against their hand and rolling their eyes, I hear my Grandad say ‘You are having quite a different experience to someone just on holiday aren’t you…’ and my Mum take a deep breath as she explains that I am not responsible for fixing all of South Africa’s problems.
They are able to see me in this situation and empathise without having it weighing down on them in the same way. I have also spent a considerable amount of these conversations being mocked about my control freak ness – perhaps it is was a blessing for everyone that when I started I was the only volunteer on Social Justice, otherwise how would I have taken control? Harleen suggested that actually it wouldn’t have mattered because no matter how strong someone’s personality was they would have struggled to lead me anyway!

This is when I roll my eyes.

I feel at this point it is important to add in my defence that I have let others plan and lead the most recent workshop (on justice – a big topic especially when you are presenting it to prisoners!) and even stayed behind when they went to Khayelitsha (the township most of our social justice cases come from) to plan home visits with clients whilst I finished off some paperwork with a Refugee Client.

Being almost at half way I am reflecting not only on stepping back and letting others make decisions but also on what I have found thought provoking and what drains me.

I am now pretty sure that teaching isn’t for me – every workshop we plan we do 7 times over. I find this monotonous and whilst it goes differently each time and we become more confident in our editing of the workshop. I would struggle to teach the same thing over and over again in a school environment.

Something that I has been affirmed in me is how much I believe responsible politics is the answer to social change.
Politics should be about serving people, a profession known for its compassion, morality and team work – in my personal opinion.
I long for a day when people look forward to elections as much as I do, revelling in the fact that they are being asked their opinion in the future of the country, all of it, the economic policy, the national curriculum, the importance of renewable energy to name a few topics in a parties manifesto. 

Life for many of the young people I have spent time with believe life is better inside, and when I look at their outside I can’t blame them. How then can politics come to the rescue? Examining the root causes of crime, introducing economic policy shifts and the curriculum to better engage and equip children. 

This is absolutely where my passion lies, in bringing about long term change to real peoples everyday lives. With this in mind a big focus of my trip is gathering experiences, trying to take in all the details, so that when I campaign for structural change I have individuals in mind.

Am going to hear about a guy who has done Prison Alpha in South Africa on Friday, this is something that I would definitely like to look up when I am home and other charities that help prisoners, especially young people remain hopeful for the future. I also want to think some big thoughts about rehabilitation and the point of punishing people for breaking the law, perhaps find some intelligent books on the subject.

This slightly all over the place blog post reflects where my head is at as I write this.

Speaking of politics, just in case you missed it am going to link the PAX Christians in Politics clip I was part of a couple of months ago, I am really proud of it and super excited about where this project is moving!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIV2xMyR95s

Prayer requests:

-         -  Keep trusting God with the bigger picture for both my trip and the lives of the young people I am working with. Energy in my team, everyone is trying to make the most of every moment in their trip and see all Cape Town has to offer, which is fantastic but leaves us all feeling a bit brain dead.

-         -  For my Dad as he begins his trip in India, may he build great relationships and learn lots about the lives of others

-        -   For my notebooking to remain critical and reflective but not cynical and depressing

Thank you for making it to the end of my eleventh blog, hope you are having an interesting week!