Can you believe I get to do this?!

‘Throw yourself into your work and in the same breath surrender the outcomes.’ – Rob Bell

This week I listened to a brilliantly thought provoking podcast by Rob Bell, he talked about the difference between being success orientated, always thinking ‘this is what I am doing next’ or being craft orientated ‘can you believe I get to do this?’.

As someone who plans and likes to constantly weigh up all I do, I definitely fall into the ‘this is what I am doing next’ mind set. It has become habit, an auto pilot choice to ask ‘what’s next?’ just as President Bartlet does! But both of us have something to learn from craft focused people, how much do we miss if we are always chasing the next event, meeting and workshop?

Having heard this on Monday evening after a long day of doing nothing but watch west wing and writing up my journal I thought seriously about grounding myself in the ‘can you believe I get to do this?’ mind set this week. It has made me step back and appreciate just how crazy some of the things I am doing are!

This week I have done the following:

- Watched 8 episodes of west wing in one day (Workers Day, 1^st May)

- Helped a client apply for permeant citizenship for his two daughters

- Done a workshop on volunteering and culture to the boys at Lindelani, by chatting to the boys about countries we have visited I hope they escaped to Greece, New York and Spain even for a few seconds.

- Chatted to Dunstan from Christians in Politics about how we respond to the general election and plans for the future of the Youth Engagement Board.

- Done a couple of workshops on drugs and their effects, before we got there the young people listening had already decided that the high is worth it. One of them said that when all their teeth rot, they would just eat/drink soup.

A lot of the boys spoke enthusiastically about taking ‘tik’ but said they would kill someone who was selling ‘unga’. Tik is a stimulant so keeps gang members alert, whereas ‘unga’ is a depressant and slows you down, taking this gets you exiled because you can’t perform your duties properly. A conversation I don’t remember having in my PSHE lessons.

Found it challenging to hear once again how so many of them have already given up on their lives being any different to how they are currently.

- Been to home group we discussed Peter, and how his situation turned around from denying Jesus three times to professing his love for Jesus three times. Amazing to discuss how God calls each of us to follow him confidently instead of comparing ourselves to others asking ‘why me, what about them?’.

Prayed powerfully with this great group of people for us to see ourselves the way God sees us.

- Chatted to Pablo, a volunteer from the USA about international politics, hard and soft power, global organisations, the UN Security Council and whether a second cold war is emerging? This was in one journey!

- Been to Pollsmoor Prison to attend the prayer walk again, this time with 248 other Christians. We went to two of the men’s units and walked around their court yards praying for them. Was very different from walking around the corridors in the women’s unit. There I felt joy and excitement bounce off the walls as we prayed and saw their smiles.

This time I felt an outpouring of desperation leak out of their dorms – I saw the overcrowding and absence of privacy/ individual space they are given. Found it quite overwhelming to know that some of them will spend decades there. Life in South Africa is a 25 year sentence, but if you have killed more than one person it gets added on – two people is 50 years.

Can’t begin to imagine staying mentally healthy in there for a month, let alone a year. Really had to trust God for miracles to erupt in this place, several of the people who work for Hope Ministries are ex-prisoners and have incredible stories of transformation, I pray for this to become the norm.

Left feeling weighed down by what I had seen, but even more resolute to read up on rehabilitative justice and programmes that actually work when I get home.

- Been to a coffee shop and written up my top 6 reasons for voting Lib Dem, with policy and conference speeches used as references throughout.

- Eaten my first falafel pita bread.

- Started reading a book on the Christian Worldview, examining the theological way of looking at biology, philosophy, ethics, law, politics, economics, history and sociology in comparison to Marxism and Secular Humanism... not something you can read all in one go!

- Visited the Fellowship of Love Ministries Church and spoken for 5 minutes on what I am doing in Cape Town, how I have developed the skills to be here and my dreams for the future. Believing that God places passions on our hearts and snowballs opportunities when we commit to taking the first step. This was part of a service celebrating workers day, several people in the congregation encouraged the young people by sharing how they have ended up doing the jobs they currently are.

- In the same day went to St Martin’s church and heard a brilliant talk about worship. Do we trust that because we have seen God come through for us in the past he can come through for us again? Do we follow his example by surrendering all we are? During the worship I flicked through some really significant moments where God has come through for me and prayed for my week ahead. Challenged myself to thank God in advance for what he will teach me this week as I am the only volunteer in Social Justice.

Looking over this last week there are SO many moments when I can say ‘can you believe I get to do this?’ it is absolutely incredible the people I am meeting, the conversations I am having, and the prayers I am praying. Jesus spent time with those society ignored and more than that shunned and drenched in shame. How amazing that I get to spend so much of my week with people the world has turned a blind eye to.

Can you believe I get to chat to these young people and offer an alternative perspective on life?

Can you believe I get to travel around this diverse city with fabulous friends and take tons of photos?

Can you believe I get to talk so much about Christians in Politics to people who have never before considered politics to be more than an election every few years!

Can you believe I get to go to a high security prison?

Can you believe that in amongst all of this I get to read mind blowing books?

Wow! Wow! Wow!

This is my gap year trip to South Africa, I will always look back on this time knowing it was significant in my life in so many ways. But right now I am not looking back but living it. So instead of hyper planning my last 18 days volunteering, may I keep stepping back and appreciating how crazy my life is right now.

Cheri, Sophie and I at a new food market.

Love spending my weekends in lovely places like this, eating great food and laughing with friends AND appreciating good fairy lights!

Prayer Requests:

- Motivation to keep going at work, this week and potentially next week I am the only volunteer doing social justice. I did this for two weeks at the start of my trip, so I know I can physically do it but it is tough – especially now I know what it is like to have a team around me.

- For all the young people I am working with, may they see God’s love and HUGE hope for them in something I say or do. I trust that God will meet them exactly where they are at and call them by name into his embrace – just as he did with the prodigal son.

- For Cheri as she flies home this weekend, may she go safely. This will be a big goodbye for me as Cheri is my first house mate to leave, after living with her for two months it is going to be difficult to adjust to Brenda's without her crazy excitement filling the space.

Thank you for reading my sixteenth blog post, I hope you have a crazy week! x